Ellie Grace Volk

February 27, 11pm: What a long day for an almost 3-year-old!  We went to Omaha for our chemo appointment.  Here is Ellie getting her blood pressure taken when we arrived.  All of her vitals looked great.  She also gained more weight! 

They wanted to do the CT scan first.  Ellie had to drink a liquid to show contrast on her scan.  They gave her 90 minutes to drink it and make sure it was in her system.  Then she had her CT scan.  She laid perfectly still and they didn't have to sedate her at all.  Thankfully! 

Here she is on the way to her scan.  She had to wear a mask being out in the hospital because they are having so many cases of influenza. After her scan, they wanted to flush out her system before they administered the chemo drugs.  They didn't want too many different chemicals in her body at once.  So, they hooked her up to an IV and gave her fluids over the course of an hour.  Ellie was very wiped out by this point and fell asleep on me while receiving her fluids through the IV.  When they felt she was ready, they gave her two different chemo drugs. 

After our chemo appointment, we went to another hospital for her radiation appointment.  This was her one-month check-up after completing radiation.  At this appointment, they showed us Ellie's CT scan results.  They felt everything looked great.  There was nothing new or suspicious.  No nodules or new growths.  We were very excited!  They really feel like she is on the right course to recovery and remission.   

We finally arrived home 8 hours after we left.  Ellie was very tired, but in good spirits.  We haven't seen any bad side effects from any of the drugs she received today.  

As I put her to bed tonight, she prayed, "Dear Jesus, please make me better.  I don't like ouchies or pokes.  I love you Jesus." (she calls it a "poke" when they stick her with a needle).

As we wind down this day, we are grateful for so much.  For medical technology.  For doctors and nurses who care.  For our circle of supporters.  For each other.  For the chance to fight for Ellie.  Most of all, we are thankful that God is with us.  Even though the Earth is covered with billions and billions of people, God knows Ellie personally.  He created her and knows everything about her.  He will not forget her.  Of course, the same can be said of YOU.  He loves you and won't forget you either.  And we won't forget the incredible support you have all given us over the course of this journey.  Thank you.

"I will not forget you.  I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands." Isaiah 49:15-16 

February 26, 8am: Ellie is doing great!  She is in wonderful spirits and playing non-stop.  Here she is after her bath last night.  Her appetite has improved greatly and she seems much stronger.

Our challenge right now is not Ellie, but her older brother and sister.  They are on Day 2 of being home from school with the flu.  So I need to take care of them without letting Ellie get sick.  The doctors have told us that Ellie cannot even get a sniffle.  If her temperature gets to 100, they will admit her to the hospital.  My whole goal is to keep her healthy (or "healfy" as she says) while nursing my other kids back to good health.

Ellie has a big day tomorrow.  We go in for chemo and she will get two chemo drugs.  She also will get a CAT scan.  They want to do a check to see that radiation and chemo have been working.  We also have an appointment tomorrow with the radiologists.  It is her one-month check-up after radiation was completed.  I am excited and nervous to get all of her tests done.  I am so very hopeful that everything is working well and that she doesn't have any spots of cancer or anything suspicious in her little body.

We will be strong and believe only the best.  We will believe that everything looks great!  Thanks for helping us be strong.  I will keep in mind one of my favorite verses: "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:13 

February 23, 9am:  Thank you to my friend Vicki for passing on this verse to me: "As Jesus passed by, he saw a man who had been blind from birth.  And his disciples asked him, 'Master, who sinned, this man, or his parents, so that he was born blind?'  Jesus answered, 'Neither this man sinned, nor this parents; but this happened so that the works of God should be revealed in him.'" John 9:1-3  This verse was very comforting to me because I have wondered many times about what I did or didn't do during pregnancy to allow Ellie to have cancer.  Or perhaps I exposed her to something or somehow caused this.  The doctors have told us that it was nothing we did and that there was no way to prevent this.  But hearing this verse in the Bible has given me more comfort than even the doctor's words.  And I love the last line, "but this happened so that the works of God should be revealed in him."  I am very humbled to think that the works of God could be revealed in Ellie.  Even in a small way. I know God can work through even the smallest of His children to teach us lessons.  I pray that her journey will give others hope.  Or maybe inspire someone to face a challenge with determination.  Any small good that comes out of this will be wonderful.  Of course, it is not because of Ellie or me typing these words.  This is all truly the work of God.  He has planned out this journey.  He already knows how it's going to end.  I pray that we are obedient enough that He can work through us for the good of His kingdom.  We simply need to listen to Him and believe in Him.  And, thank you to YOU for your continued prayers.  We are uplifted and blessed by you.  Thank you.  Have a wonderful weekend and I'll update soon.

February 20, 10pm: Chemo went very smoothly today.  All of Ellie's vitals and blood work looked great.  She received her one chemo drug today with no side effects.  It was an easy day!  Here are Ellie and I waiting for her test results to come back before they could start chemo.

Ellie also gained some weight!  Only 2/10th of a pound, but we were excited.  We are at least heading in the right direction.

When we got home, Ellie started playing with her dolls and announced that she was a doctor.  She told one of her dolls, "You have a port and I need to put embla on it and then the butterfly won't hurt."  (Translation: the port is where they put chemo in, the embla is the cream they use to numb the port, and the butterfly is a needle with "wings" on it they use to administer chemo.)  I cannot believe my 2-year-old has these words in her vocabulary.  As I listened to her, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry!  I am sad she has had to come to know these words, but on the other hand, she just deals with all of the medical procedures matter-of-factly.  It's simply part of her life right now.  She is learning to deal with a lot at a young age.  I know it is all part of something bigger that will make her stronger in life.  There are many lessons to be learned on this journey!

Here is Ellie when we got home tonight eating a celebratory cupcake that my friend Katie brought over.  She thoroughly enjoyed it!

Our thanks for all of the prayers today.  So many of you have told me you pray for us specifically on Wednesdays when we have chemo.  We can feel it!  We are so grateful to be surrounded by such a strong circle of Christian friends.  Thank you.

"Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1 

February 19, 7pm: Just a quick update: Ellie is still feeling great.  She's been playing and running around a lot.  In fact, naps have become an interruption for her.  She told me today, "I'm almost 3 so I don't take naps anymore."  We are so thankful that she feels that good!

We head to chemo tomorrow and Ellie only gets 1 drug.  I am not anticipating any problems.  Of course, I didn't anticipate any problems last week and she ended up getting a blood transfusion.  But I am really not expecting anything out of the ordinary tomorrow.

We will update when we get home!  Blessings to you.

"I have called you by name, you are mine."  Isaiah 43:1 

February 17, 4:30pm: We are having a great weekend.  Ellie is feeling fantastic and is in a great mood.  We are having fun with her.  I think her blood transfusion really helped give her a boost.  Even her color looks better.

As you can see from the picture, she still has hair.  We are on week 3 of losing hair.  I know it's hard to see by the photo, but she probably has about 1/4 of it left.  She has many bald spots and her scalp is really showing through her thin veil of hair.  Out of the blue yesterday, she started laughing and said to me, "Mommy, isn't it going to be funny when I'm bald?"  Losing her hair doesn't bother her a bit.  I love her attitude!

At our appointment on Wednesday, Ellie weighed the same.  She still hasn't gained any weight.  She simply doesn't have that much of an appetite.  So, I took her to the grocery store and let her walk up and down the aisles.  I let her pick out whatever looked good to her.  She was throwing things in the cart right and left.  Since she was picking the food, we ended up with things like Princess gummies, Mickey Mouse cereal, and Dora soup (who knew there was such a thing?!)...  I am determined that we will have a weight gain this week!

Thanks for all of your comments and prayers.  We have never felt alone or forgotten in this journey.  Not from all of you or from God.  It has been truly uplifting.  And thanks to all of you who are wearing Ellie's bracelets.  When I run into someone and I see that pink bracelet peaking out from under a sleeve, it warms my heart.  We are so blessed that you are praying for our girl.  Thank you.

"I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 

February 14, 1:00pm:  Our "easy" chemo treatment yesterday turned out to not be so easy.  We arrived and they took blood, which they always do.  When they got the results of her blood work back, they decided that Ellie's hemoglobin count was too low.  They wanted to give her a blood transfusion.  So they ordered the blood from the blood bank.  Ellie played while we waited and we ended up waiting 2 hours for the blood to arrive, so we did a lot of playing!

When the blood was delivered, they hooked Ellie up to an IV and began the drip.  It took 2 hours to do the transfusion.  Here is Ellie during the transfusion making an art project.  The tube to the left of her is part of the IV. 

Praise the Lord for the medical technology that they can even figure out when blood counts are low and then have a way of fixing the problem.  After the transfusion, Ellie slept the whole way home and woke up feeling completely refreshed.  The new blood must have been the boost she needed because she woke up singing and dancing!

Our quick appointment ended up being over 6 hours, but I am so grateful that she is feeling good.  Today she is bouncing all over and talking a mile a minute. 

Let me share a wonderful note and piece of artwork we received when we got home last night.  My friend Susan sent us a picture that had butterflies all over it.  The butterflies were beautifully colored by a child.  The note Susan sent said, "Messiah school children put their handwriting papers in members' mailboxes.  This one was in our mailbox on Sunday.  I think it was meant for you.  The verse is perfect and the butterflies are such a beautiful reminder of hope... of that ugly cancer to be gone and Ellie to emerge more beautiful and more healthy than ever." The verse, written in perfect student penmanship, says, "So it is with prayer - keep on asking and you will keep on getting; keep on looking and you will keep on finding; knock and the door will be opened. Luke 11:9".  Thank you to Susan for passing it on to us and to the Messiah student who made our wonderful artwork.

I am constantly reminded of how grateful we should be for the challenge we are facing.  There are so many facing much more than us.  Yesterday we met Emily who is 5.  She was diagnosed with Leukemia when she was 2.  She is on her 3rd year of chemo.  I feel so deeply for these kids.  I don't cry for my own child during our treatments, but I look around and begin to cry for other children.  We are so blessed to only have 6 months of chemo.  We are blessed that Ellie's tumor was a solid mass and they were able to get it all out.  We are blessed that Ellie feels good and is handling everything so well.   Truly, we have more blessings than challenges.

We are very, very thankful.  "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever." 1 Chronicles 16:34 

February 12, 7pm: Ellie is having a great day!  She is feeling wonderful and playing and laughing a lot.  I love it!   We head to chemo tomorrow and it should be a very easy day.  She gets only 1 drug and it is the one that gives her the least side effects.  She and I are looking forward to a fun day in Omaha.

I have to tell you what has been in my mind so strongly over the last few days.  I am amazed by the children that Ellie's situation has touched.  I am so grateful for that.  It's not often that children have a chance to know another child who has a serious illness.  I love the stories I hear about the kids praying for Ellie.  What an incredible opportunity for kids to learn compassion and caring for one of their own.  I love the ripple effect that her situation is having.  I have always believed that Ellie was going through all of this for a reason.  Here is just one, beautiful reason. So many people have told me their children are praying specifically for Ellie.  What a humbling thought it is to me to think of these innocent, faith-filled children talking to God on Ellie's behalf.

I told Ellie that we are going to have to go on the Ellie Recovery Road Trip in a few months and we are going to visit all of these amazing kids and thank them in person.  A few of the stops (there will be many stops - we have so many to thank!) will be: a trip to Kansas City to visit Alex who went to school to sell Ellie's bracelets.  He raised $52 (a lot of it in quarters) at his elementary school!  Most kids gave him their lunch money.  Isn't that amazing?!  Ellie and I will treat you to pizza when we come!  We will also head to Faith Lutheran Elementary school, where the kindergarten class made that amazing blanket and hat for Ellie, and, just today, we received a batch of Valentines from the 4th grade class.  The 2nd grade class of Christ Schools also sent Valentines today.  Reading these homemade cards with their innocent, sincere sentiments is priceless.  They are so heartfelt!  We will also head to Fullerton, NE, where the "Christ Kids" group of 4-6th graders has been following the website updates (the teacher brings her laptop so they can stay updated!).  At the end of class, each child has the opportunity to pray for whomever they want to before they say the Lord's Prayer.  The teacher said that each week, everyone says a special prayer for Ellie! 

Ellie has also received many beautiful pieces of artwork made lovingly by children.  And kids stop Ellie at church or at the store to tell her they are praying for her.  I love that!  It has been an incredible blessing to see how this has touched children.  I pray that it has a positive impact on them.  I know they are having a positive impact on us.

We will update when we get home from chemo tomorrow.  Thanks for your continued support and prayers.  We are blessed!!

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" Matthew 19:14
 

February 10, 6pm: Hello from Tom.  I am updating today instead of Debbie. I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and support.  We are strengthened and encouraged by your comments, cards, e-mails, calls, and texts. 

This whole process could not have been orchestrated by any individual or group.  We know that God has been involved since the beginning and that only He could bring us all together.  We know that God has a plan for Ellie and we trust in Him. 

Ellie is feeling good today.  Here is a picture of her taken this morning when we got home from church.  She continues to lose her hair, but she is in good spirits.

I need to thank several people at Monsanto for helping with my work-related activities over the last several weeks: Matt Kirkpatrick, Jeff Frerichs, Justin Mason, Gene Sedivy, Mark Thornburg, Julie Farren, and Andy Harken.  I also want to thank my dealers and customers for their support and patience during this time.  They have allowed me to focus on my family's needs without worrying about work.  We've also received several cards and gifts from different groups in Monsanto and we really appreciate the encouragement.

 As we reflect on all of the people who have been praying for Ellie and our family, it brings to mind the following verse from Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

February 8th, 2pm: Just a quick update!  Ellie is doing really good today.  We did have a bit of a rough day yesterday.  She had been given the new chemo drug on Wednesday and we saw some side effects from that yesterday.  She threw up several times and was very lethargic.  But today she is doing much better.  We are looking forward to a weekend of getting caught up on sleep and getting some strength back!  Here is a picture of Ellie today.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend!  As always, thanks so much for blessing us with your comments! 

"The blessing of the Lord be upon you." Psalm 129:8 

February 6th, 7pm: What a long day!  Chemo today was much different having added the new drug to our routine.  Up until today, Ellie would get her chemo drugs by injection into her port.  Today, they gave her the new drug by IV drip and that made for a much longer visit.  I am so grateful that she will only receive this drug 4 times.

When we arrived, Ellie was in great spirits.  Here she is getting her weight and height taken.  We were hoping for a weight gain, but she was the same.

They drew some blood to do some tests and we needed to wait to get the results of those before we could procede to administering the chemo drugs.

Her blood results came back and everything looked really good.  So they finally began the drugs.  She was given one chemo drug by injection and then the IV was started for the next drug.  Ellie got very lethargic during the drip and basically just laid on Tom.  She seemed to be a bit out of it.  After the drug was in her system, they gave her some fluids through the IV and then she began to perk up.  After some snacks and juice, she seemed much better.  Since we left, Ellie has been great.  They told us that the side effects of this new drug may show up in the next several days, so we'll just watch her.  We were also told that this drug will speed up hair loss "exponentially".   All in all, we thought she handled everything really well. 

Once again, I am so amazed by the outpouring from all of you!  I received phone calls, texts, and e-mails while we were at the hospital today.  You are all so incredible.  One that really hit my was an e-mail from my friend Vicki, who said, "You are reaching so many people with your strong faith and the devil does not like it, he will work at you.  Stay strong in God, just like you have been.  Your friends and all that are praying will provide you with a prayer shield you need to keep you safe from evils unknown, so that God may continue to work through you."  Thank you so much, Vicki! 

And thank you to all of you who pray for us.  We appreciate your prayers, thoughts, kind words, notes,... more than you'll ever know. You give us strength! 

I'll share with you Ellie's prayer last night, "Dear Jesus, please get me healfy, and, don't forget: I love you, Jesus!" 

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaish 41:10

February 5th, 2pm: I wanted to share a photo with you of Ellie today.  She is really holding onto her hair much longer than I thought she would.  As you can see, her hair is very thin, but she still has quite a bit of it. They had told us that she would be completely bald within 6 weeks of surgery.  We are in week 5 right now, so we'll see if she holds onto it through next week.

We are heading to chemo again tomorrow and I find myself being anxious about it.  When we started talking about chemo after surgery, they told us we would start the "bad" chemo drug on week 4 of chemo.  Well, week 4 of chemo is tomorrow.  She has been on 2 chemo drugs so far.  She will add this 3rd one tomorrow and will receive it only 4 times during the 6 months of chemo.  This drug has many more side effects, including that it can cause heart damage.  I don't know why I am feeling nervous about it.  I know that Ellie has handled everything so well so far.  I have no reason to fear that she won't handle this well too.  Thanks to my friend Julie for reminding me that everything will be ok and that I shouldn't be scared.

I have often heard that F-E-A-R stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.  Fear is a tool the devil uses.  The devil presents false evidence and makes it seem real.  I can listen to him or I can believe God.   I know that prayer is my greatest weapon against fear.  I need to believe the best will happen. I need to speak, think and profess only words of hope, encouragement, health, belief... those are God's truths for us.  Not words of hopelessness, doubt or negativity. 

So, as we head to chemo tomorrow, I believe that only the best will happen.  I will look forward to Ellie being one week closer to recovery!

"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?" Psalm 27:1

"The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid." Psalm 118:6 

February 3rd, 3pm: A Christian writer, Susan Darst Williams, had found her way to our little website and contacted me about writing an article about Ellie.  She wrote a beautiful article and posted it today on her website.  You can read it at: www.dailysusan.com.  Susan said she wanted to write and post an article to help widen the circle of people praying for Ellie. We are very grateful.  Thank you Susan!

February 1st, 7pm:  On the first of this new month, I cannot help but reflect on all that has happened in the last 30 days!  What a difference a month can make!  A month ago, Ellie had been diagnosed, but had not had surgery yet.  Since then, we have had surgery (to remove a tumor and her right kidney), she has had radiation, she has begun chemo.  That's the "technical" stuff that has happened. 

But what has truly happened is much bigger and better than that.  We have grown so much.  We have come to rely on our faith.  It has not only sustained us, but we have become much more faith-filled.  Our relationship with God has grown by leaps and bounds as we have trusted Him to get us through this journey.  We know He holds Ellie in His loving hands and we trust in all that He does. 

We have also become closer as a family.  The time together has been wonderful.  As we rally around this little girl, our perspective has changed so much.  We don't find ourselves too busy to stop and have a game of Elmo Uno.  We don't hear ourselves say, "Later" when Ellie asks to be read to.  It is so true that you just don't know what the bend in the road may bring.  Your life can change in an instant.  Right now, hug those around you.  Spend time together. (ok, I'm a little emotional right now - bear with me!)

Another blessing of this last month is the amazing outpouring from friends, family and strangers (or "new friends").  Our relationships with those we knew before have deepened.  We have come to see such amazing qualities in our friends.  And it is a true blessing to get to know those around us on a deeper level.  Instread of running by people at church, school, grocery store... with the usual quick "Hello!", we now talk about faith, healing and what a little girl's determination has taught us.  What a lesson that is!  Why weren't we getting to know each other like that before?  Why does it take something like this to make us appreciate those around us?

The outpouring of our "new friends" is what truly has been amazing to me.  I am embarrassed to say that I didn't reach out to strangers as much as I should have before this.  Tom and I are now forever changed and look to see where we can help - whether we know someone or not.  Let me give you just a few examples of what strangers have done for us:

* A beautiful "Cuddle Blanket" was made by a grandma who makes them for her grandkids and, although we don't know her, she wanted Ellie to have one too.

* Prayer Shawls have been made by the ladies at First Presbyterian Church and at Grace Lutheran Church and sent to us.  We don't attend either church.  They just made them out of love for a girl they don't know.

* A Christian writer is doing an story on Ellie on her website (more info about that this weekend!).

* A young woman we haven't met yet is running in a benefit cancer run and asked if she could run in Ellie's honor.

* The 7th grade class at Blessed Sacrament School sent cards and notes they had made.  Their teacher enclosed a note that said, "When we read about what Ellie is going through on the website, it helps my 7th graders, who are usually concentrated on themselves, reach out to Ellie and your family in prayer."  The notes these kids wrote Ellie are beautiful!

* A package arrived with two beautiful hand-crocheted hats.  It was anonymous and was simply from two moms and their daughters to Ellie.

* The coffee shop at First Lutheran Church in Brookings, SD, is selling Ellie's bracelets.  

There are many more examples of such kind gestures.  And, most importantly, we have so many people we haven't met who are praying for Ellie.  That warms our heart.  Each day we are amazed and overwhelmed by how good and loving people are.   What a blessing that lesson has been for us.  Thank you!

I'll leave you with two pictures of Ellie.  One was taken a month ago and one was taken today.  As you can see, she is now much thinner and her hair is too!  But, you can also see that she still has her spirit.  She still has her determination (even more so!) and her spunk.  She has taught me much. 

It is amazing how God has worked to bring good out of the evil that is cancer.  This journey has truly held more blessings than not. 

Thanks to my friend Darla for pointing out this Bible verse: "And we know that in all things God works for those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 

January 30th, 5pm:  We went to chemo today and Ellie was a true trooper.  This was our 3rd chemo treatment and she is starting to get used to the routine.  She knows she will get a sticker if she lets them weigh her and take blood pressure.  So
she goes along with it - all the while eyeing the stickers hanging on the wall.  Then we have a chance to play in the playroom while we wait.  Today my mom came with me as Tom was out-of-town.  Ellie was excited to show Grandma Kate all of the  toys she likes to play with.  Here she is being "Dr. Ellie" and listening to Grandma's heartbeat. 

Ellie and I also got a chance to play.  

Then it was time for the actual chemo treatment.  Grandma even went into the room with us, but it was a bit hard for her to watch.  No one wants to see their grandchild go through that.  Ellie REALLY doesn't like chemo treatments.  It doesn't hurt her, but it scares her.  Ellie has a port which is a round plastic piece that they implanted into Ellie right under the skin. It has a long tube attached to it that is inside her body.  When she goes into chemo, they stick the needle into her port.  We numb her port so she can't feel anything, but just seeing the needle and watching many different fluids be pumped into her body scares her.  Rightfully so!  The doctors and nurses are very efficient and it doesn't take them long to administer her drugs.  There are always a few extra nurses in the room to read books, blow bubbles and basically try to distract Ellie.  But it never works.  For some reason, she likes to watch what the doctors are doing.

We also saw our surgeon today.  He is the one who took out her tumor and kidney.  He was very pleased with the way her wounds are healing.  He thought they looked great - especially for beginning radiation and chemo so soon after surgery.  

Here is a picture of Ellie when we first arrived at the hospital today.  I share this with you so you can see how her hair is thinning out.  She still has a lot of hair, but it is getting quite thin in spots.  We bought a big lint roller today to keep Ellie and her things as hair-free as possible.   She is constantly covered in hair!

Today I saw a mom at the hospital who looked like she was in shock walking into the chemo department.  It's hard to believe that that was me just 3 weeks ago.  It's amazing how quickly you adapt and just accept that this is your life for right now.  I meet a dad who has been at this chemo thing longer than I have and he said it simply becomes part of your life and you just make the best of it.  I don't cry anymore walking in there.  In fact, today, Ellie and I ran to the play kitchen.  It's just part of our routine and you try to have fun and make it an adventure.

We are so thankful for the doctors, nurses and everyone who works so hard to make Ellie better.  They are amazing.  We are also thankful for this incredible support system that God has surround us with.  We are blessed beyond our belief!  Our circle includes each of you and we so appreciate your support, compassion, and love.  The prayers are felt!  I thank you for "storming heaven" with your prayers on Ellie's behalf.  What a blessed little girl!!   We have such hope for her and her future.  We truly believe she will come out of this journey better than ever!  She will have a new strength, determination, and compassion that she would not have otherwise had.  Everything is a blessing!  And we are thankful for everything sent our way.  "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful." Colossians 3:15
  

January, 29, 8am: Hair loss begins. 

I was reading a book to Ellie on Sunday and she had her head leaning back on my chest as she sat in my lap.  When she got up, my shirt was covered in clumps of hair.  It was a bit shocking for me.  I know she is going to lose her hair.  I know that is coming, but it was just so "real".  Seeing that hair made me realize this is really going to happen.  It's such a visual sign of this process.  Up until know, you would not know that she was sick.  She looks good, she's in great spirits.  But now, it will be an obvious sign to all who see her that this little girl is sick.  I had a talk with Ellie and told her that her hair is going to fall out.  I had tears in my eyes as I explained it to her.  She simply said, "Oh Mommy!  It's ok!" and she gave me a big hug.  She is handling this all so much better than we are!  Since Sunday, her hair is falling out slowly, but constantly.  She is forever covered in hair.  It's in her Play-Doh.  It's in her food.  It's all over her bed, her clothes, her toys...  She is very annoyed by it and it constantly picking it out of things.  I almost wish it would just all fall out quickly!  I know the fact that her hair is falling out means that the chemo is working.  It's a good thing.  In addition to attacking her hair, it is attacking the bad cells in her body and that is what we want.  So I will happily follow Ellie around, picking up hair, knowing that this is a step in the right direction in her process of recovery.

On a personal note, please indulge me this morning in sending out a special thank you.  I have to publicly thank my clients and consultants.  My Mary Kay clients have been so loyal to me and insistent that my business survive this crisis.  Thank you!  My unit has been amazing and has rallied - despite having a director who cannot be very hands-on right now.  You're the best!  A special thank you to my fellow directors who have stepped in to work with my consultants.  Incredible!  Mary Kay, Inc., has made sure I know that my focus right now needs to be my family and that my career will be waiting for me when I'm ready.  If I had a "real" job, I would have had to quit by now.  A heart-felt thank you!!  I am so blessed to be surrounded by such powerful, faith-filled women and a caring, loving company.  

Another thank you to all of you who have ordered the "Ellie Grace Prayer Circle" bracelet.  The initial 500 bracelets that our friends had ordered has already sold out.  Tom's fraternity brothers from FarmHouse stepped in and ordered 1000 more to replenish the inventory!  Thank you!  We are excited to have this visual reminder to pray for Ellie and others.  We are also thrilled that we will be able to help the children and cancer charities that are doing so much to help kids like Ellie.

Thanks for your comments, thoughts, and prayers.  We are so blessed by you.  We thank you for supporting us during diagnosis, surgery, radiation and now, chemo.  As we face this next phase of treatment, we are very hopeful.    

As we head to chemo tomorrow, we'll remember: "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."  Psalm 31:24